THREE FISTED ADVENTURES IN WORLD POP CINEMA
LUCHA MOVIE REVIEWS: A TO Z INDEX SERIES
INDEX
LATEST REVIEWS: EL PUNO DE LA MUERTE - SANTO VS. EL ESTRANGULADOR - LAS LOBAS DEL RING
OTHER REVIEWS
Asia-pol (Hong Kong/Japan, 1967)
So I had this crazy dream where Joe Shishido, the chipmunk-cheeked star of Seijun Suzuki's Branded to Kill, and Jimmy Wang-yu from The One Armed Swordsman were facing off against each other in this sort of Asian version of a Eurospy film. Wait a minute... That was no dream. That was the 1967 Shaw Brothers/Nikkatsu co-production Asia-pol!
Battle Beneath the Earth (England, 1967)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
They're down there... crawling around like ants. Can't you hear them? JUST LIKE ANTS, I TELL YOU!
Be-Sharam (India, 1978)
Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan and co. bring
the funk - and the fug - in this fun thriller that knocks off pretty much every
successful Amitabh vehicle that preceded it.
Beyond the Wall of Sleep (United States, 2006)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Beyond the Wall of Sleep is the most Lovecraftian of Lovecraft adaptations, in that its horribleness defies description.
The Black Rose (Hong Kong, 1965)
Many years before he blew minds with The Magic Blade and Clans of Intrigue, director Chor Yuen crafted this irresistible pulp confection. One of a precious few remaining classics
of Asian genre cinema
that no white people have ever heard of.
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Casus Kiran (Turkey, 1968)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Casus Kiran is a Turkish remake of the old Republic serial Spy Smasher. I guess it hews pretty close to the original, only it's sexier and a lot more Turkish.
Cazadores de Espias (Mexico, 1969)
(Reviewed at Jet Set Cinema)
Mexican spy movies from the sixties are generally pretty weird, and Cazadores de Espias just may be the wierdest of them all. Strangely, though, it doesn't start out that way--and that makes watching Cazadores de Espias sort of like watching a movie that's gradually losing its mind.
Con Licensia Para Matar (Mexico, 1967)
(Reviewed at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!)
Cat suited femme fatales fight a beatnik mad scientist with an army of green faced androids in a sinister go-go club. In other words, just business as usual in the wild world of 1960s Mexican spy cinema.
Cruel Gun Story (Japan, 1964)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Like Seijun Suzuki�s previously reviewed Underworld Beauty, Cruel Gun Story benefits from the same hindsight that served later Hollywood noirs, with the result that it presents a distillation of the noir style that borders on pastiche.
The Dark Heroine Muk Lan-fa (Hong Kong, 1966)
You may not have heard of
her, but if you're a bad guy, Suet Nei is probably going to kill you. A fond
look at the Dark Heroine Muk Lan-fa films, a series of absurdly violent
"Jane Bond" entries from the swinging Cantonese cinema of the
1960s.
Death Trip (Germany/Italy/France/Lebanon/Hungary, 1967)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Death Trip, the fourth entry in the Kommissar X series of Eurospy films, is not quite as strange as its drug-related theme might suggest. But, come on, this is a Kommissar X film! You know it's going to be plenty strange anyway.
Delinquent Girl Boss: Blossoming Night Dreams (Japan, 1970)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
The Delinquent Girl Boss
movies could be described as Pinky Violence "lite", in large part due to their star, Reiko Oshida, who's
simply so adorable that you'd never want any of those things that
happen to Miki Sugimoto and Reiko Ike in their movies to happen to her.
Dharam-Veer (India, 1977)
An extra screen cap-a-licious review of this eye blasting Bollywood comic book historical starring Dharmendra, Zeenat Aman and, of course, Sheroo The Wonder Bird.
Do Ankhen Barah Haath (India, 1957)
Yes, yes, I know... V.
Shantaram is one of India's most revered filmmakers and Do Ankhen Barah
Haath is a shining example of both his technical artistry and his
commitment to promoting positive social change through his work. But for me
it's all about Sandhya.
The Dunwich Horror (United States, 1970)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Sexing up Lovecraft would seem like a tough enough task on its own, but when, as AIP did in this case, you choose stars like Sandra Dee and Dean Stockwell to do it, well...
Dynamite Johnson (Philippines, 1978)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Filipino exploitation king Bobby Suarez gives us the best of -- well, Bobby Suarez -- in Dynamite Johnson, his double-dipping sequel to both The Bionic Boy and They Call Her... Cleopatra Wong.
The Face of Eve (Spain/England/Liechtenstein/United States, 1968)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
If jungle adventure movies have taught us anything, it�s that modern
man is the
most dangerous animal of all. Whatever perils the jungle may hold, it
is he who pose the greatest threat. Even though
he ultimately falls prey to quicksand, cannibals, and hungry wild animals.
Hey, the jungle was just defending itself.
Felidae (Germany, 1994)
Felidae is a pitch black film noir loaded with extreme gore and violence. It's also an animated film about house cats. So basically it's like Gay Purr-ee, except with evisceration murders. Or not.
Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (Japan, 1972)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Meiko Kaji--she of the "eyes that launched a thousand daggers"--stars in the first of a series of films that would mark the high point of artistically-rendered Japanese exploitation cinema.
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 (Japan, 1972)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Meiko Kaji gets downright sp-o-o-oky in this second installment of the Female Prisoner Scorpion series.
Geetaa Mera Naam (India, 1974)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Whippings, foot fetishes, and sweet, stuffed monkey love make Geetaa Mera Naam a Bollywood masala film that the whole family can enjoy.
Gerak Kilat (Singapore, 1966)
(Reviewed at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!)
Back in the 1960s, every nation on the globe wanted to get into the spy
movie game. After all, what kind of player on the world stage were you
if some madman with an eye patch didn't want to irradiate your gold
reserves or blackmail you with nuclear weapons?
Ghost With Hole (Indonesia, 1981)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
I wish there was a better way to describe the late, Javanese-born
actress Suzzanna than as �the Queen of Indonesian Horror�, but that
title is as accurate as it is shopworn.
Girl in Red (Hong Kong, 1967)
(Guest review at Connie Chan: Movie-Fan Princess)
Connie Chan, the darling of 1960's Cantonese
cinema, can act, do a bit of song and dance, and kung fu your ass into the
middle of next week. That's what you call a triple threat, people, and Girl
in Red sees Ms. Chan make good on all three.
The Godless Girl (United States, 1929)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Wanton teenage atheists tempt our nation's God fearing youth with their pamphlets of evil in Cecil B. DeMille's final silent feature.
Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (Japan, 1966)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
A go-go Godzilla fights a giant prawn against a backdrop of cartoonish jungle hijinks, forcing many self-proclaimed "serious" Godzilla fans to get off the bus. And, excuse me, is that a bad thing?
Golden Boy, aka Altin Cocuk (Turkey, 1966)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
While I enjoyed Altin Cocuk, star Goksel
Arsoy presented a bit of a stumbling block to my doing so. His
attempts at what I think is meant to be a cocky smirk look
more like an affronted sneer, with the result that he walks through the
entire film looking like he�s just smelled something unpleasant, as if
his upper lip had perhaps been coated with over-ripe cheese.
Golden Eyes: Secret Agent 077 (India, 1968)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Golden Eyes is the sort of movie where bare-walled sets are dressed by way of
colored lighting, and a super
villain�s high-tech lair is represented by having what looks like the
contents of an old Radio Shack �Build Your Own Ham Radio� kit strewn on
a wooden table.
Hanuman and the 7 Ultramen (Thailand/Japan, 1974)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
It took the combined efforts of Thailand and Japan to bring us a movie in which Ultraman plays second fiddle to a capering Hindu monkey god while inflicting bloody, Itchy & Scratchy style violence upon a gang of high-fiving rubber suit monsters. Thank you Thailand and Japan!
Haseena Atom Bomb (Pakistan, 1990)
(Reviewed at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!)
If you wanted to make the argument that sleaze is an unavoidable
byproduct of puritanism, you could do a lot worse for an Exhibit "A"
than Haseena Atom Bomb.
Hausu (Japan, 1977)
If you ever wondered what an episode of The Bugaloos directed by Dario Argento might look like, Hausu, the 1977 debut feature from director Nobuhiko Obayashi, just might provide you with the answer.
Hell Up In Harlem (United States, 1973)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
AIP can be credited with creating a good
few films that are today considered genre classics, as well as some
films that are extraordinary solely for the fact that, given the
circumstances of their production, they were even made. at all.
If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (United States, 1971)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
America, you are a weak and sinful nation. That's alright by me, of
course. Just don't go crying to Baptist firebrand Estus W. Pirkle about
it when the Commies start driving bamboo spikes
through your children's heads.
Ikarie XB-1 (Czechoslavakia, 1963)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
The Czechoslovakian sci-fi epic Ikarie XB-1 is widely assumed to have been an influence on Kubrick's 2001.
Either way, it still deserves to be held in high regard
by fans of the genre for the simple reason that it's a dang good
movie.
In the Dust of the Stars (East Germany/Romania, 1976)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
As In the Dust of the Stars clearly shows, even the isolation of Soviet-style communism couldn't shield the citizens of East Gremany from the worst excesses of Seventies fashion.
Insee Thong (Thailand, 1970)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Insee Thong, the final film starring Thai screen legend Mitr Chaibancha as masked hero The Red Eagle, stars Thai screen legend Mitr Chaibancha as masked hero The Golden Eagle. That will all make sense once you've read the review. Sort of.
Iron Claw the Pirate (Turkey, 1969)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Iron Claw is a superhero whose superpower is shooting people. It's
quite practical as superpowers go, and well suited to the fact that all
of Iron Claw's opponents are just as heavily armed and trigger happy as
he is--a situation that would no doubt leave Aquaman, with his ability
to summon whales and seahorses, flummoxed.
Jaani Dushman: Ek Anokhi Kahani (India, 2002)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Make no mistake about it: Jaani Dushman: Ek Anokhi Kahani is movie that screams awfulness from its every blighted frame. But, for some reason, I still feel compelled to describe it to you in harrowing detail.
James Batman (Philippines, 1966)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Among the staples of 1960s Filipino cinema were James Bond inspired spy
movies, costumed superhero adventures, and broad parodies of Western
pop culture. So guess which one of those 1966's James Batman is.
Kaala Sona (India, 1975)
Two fisted Feroz Khan takes a trip to the wild wild Bollywest for a bit of rest and retribution. But it's the little detour he takes through the Land of Oz that makes this Hindi oater a particularly memorable cinematic experience.
Khoon Khoon (India, 1973)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
No two filmmaking aesthetics could be more opposed than those of Hollywood and Bollywood during the seventies. But that didn't stop Indian B-Maestro Mohammed Hussain from trying to meld those two sensibilites in this Bollywood remake of Dirty Harry.
Khotte Sikkay (India, 1974)
(Reviewed at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!)
Care for a little curry with that spaghetti? Feroz Khan is the Man With No Name in this Bollywood mash-up of For A Few Dollars More and The Magnificent Seven.
Kill, Panther, Kill! (Italy/Germany, 1968)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Following on the heels of adventures set in the
farthest reaches of the Orient, the fifth installment in the Kommissar
X series sees Jo Walker and Tom Rowland heading to exotic Calgary for a
caper rife with tire rolling, sombrero wearing, and incongruous fresh water
scuba assaults.
King Kong (India, 1962)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
It's Dara Singh, Bollywood's answer to Santo, in a movie that, despite what its title might lead you to believe, has absolutely nothing to do with a certain giant ape.
Korkusuz Kaptan Swing (Turkey, 1971)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
A Turkish film based on an Italian comic book set in an imaginary America during the Revolutionary War. Now if we could just fit in a giant Japanese monster, some female secret agents in catsuits, and a Taoist priest shooting cartoon laser beams out of his hands, we might really have something.
Lady Terminator (Indonesia, 1988)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
So, have I mentioned that I love Lady Terminator? LOVE it.
Its dialog is ludicrous. Its action is frenetic, and also ludicrous.
Its gore is gratuitous to the point of being� well, ludicrous.
Love and Murder (India, 1966)
(Reviewed at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!)
Bollywood dance queen Helen, a killer in a skeleton suit, and a giant hypno-wheel with a blinking eyeball at its center make for a prime piece of 1960s Indian B cinema.
Mil Mascaras: Resurrection (United States, 2007)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Mil Mascaras is back with a vengeance. Unfortunately, his arch nemesis, the Aztec Mummy, is also back. And also with a vengeance.
Mr. India (India, 1987)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
HAIL, MOGAMBO!
Mr. Vampire (Hong Kong, 1985)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Old Hong Kong movies use the presence of a Taoist priest as a license
to print crazy, despite the real world practice of Taoism�s emphasis on
quiet contemplation and equilibrium with nature.
The Mummies of Guanajuato (Mexico, 1972)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
The three biggest names in lucha cinema -- Santo, Blue Demon and Mil Mascaras -- team up for the first time to fight a disorderly gang of unaccountably muscular mummified remains.
Murder Plot (Hong Kong, 1979)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
In which you can thrill to me prattling on about Chor Yuen's fantasy wuxia films like a little schoolgirl with her first crush.
Naked Killer (Hong Kong, 1992)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Naked Killer demonstrates its good will toward its audience by
making good on its title within scant minutes of its opening credits.
And by that I mean that there is a killer, and that she is indeed, by
all appearances, naked.
Neutron vs. The Death Robots (Mexico, 1960)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
That their hero was something of a second-class citizen in lucha movie
circles does not, however, take away from the fact that the early
Neutron films, and Death Robots in particular, are excellent
examples of their genre � better, in fact, than many of those films
that starred Neutron�s more well-known competitors.
Ogon Batto (Japan, 1966)
Few realize that that
x-ray shot of him crushing that guy's spine in Street Fighter was Sonny
Chiba's symbolic revenge for having to play second fiddle to a skeleton in
Ogon Batto, aka Golden Bat.
Operation White Shark (Italy, 1966)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Fairly or not, Eurospy films are generally regarded as cheap knock-offs
of the James Bond movies. But there is cheap, and then there is cheap.
Qurbani (India, 1980)
Amrish Puri in a Mike
Brady perm and Travolta disco suit! Ascots worn against bare chests! An all
female band that looks like they jumped out of a Jane Fonda workout video! The
only thing that can save my eyes now is Zeenat Aman in a wet sari. Oh, okay....
that's better.
Rani Mera Naam (India, 1972)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
There is perhaps no other filmmaker who is as devoted in his opposition
to subtlety as Indian director K.S.R. Doss. While I�ve fallen hard for
Doss�s comic book world of kung fu cowgirls, thunder crash aided
exposition, and careening camera angles over the past couple of years,
it�s certainly not the place to visit if you�re looking for something
that smacks of nuance or delicate shades of meaning.
Raumpatrouille Orion - Rucksturz ins Kino (Germany, 1966 / 2003)
In this pioneering German science fiction series, the crew of the star cruiser Orion boldly goes where no man has gone before, then goes back to the bar to get shit faced.
S & M Hunter (Japan, 1986)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Oh, Japanese sex movies, if there ever comes a day when I feel like
I've got it all figured out, I know you'll still be there to mystify
and confuse me.
Santo y Blue Demon contra los Monstruos (Mexico, 1969)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
God help me, I love Santo y Blue Demon contra los Monstruos.
I love it like you love a three-legged dog. Sure, my love may be
tempered by pity and mild derision, but I love it, nonetheless. And
hopefully you do, too. Because, if not, we're going to have a problem.
Santo vs. Blue Demon in Atlantis (Mexico, 1969)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Ten years into his film career, Santo had already faced off against
zombies, witches, mummies, mad scientists, vampires of both the male
and female variety, hatchet-wielding ghosts, homicidal table lamps, and
Martians. So it was only a matter of time before the denizens of
Atlantis got to the front of the queue.
Seven Deaths in the Cat's Eye (Italy, 1973)
(Reviewed at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!)
Seven Deaths in the Cat's
Eye is a movie that I would have watched sooner or later no matter what
people said about it. I mean, how bad
could a sort-of-giallo co-starring Jane
Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg be?
She is Our Senior (Hong Kong, 1967)
(Guest review at Connie Chan: Movie-Fan Princess)
Yet another loopy costumed caper from the queen of 1960s Canto cinema Connie Chan. I'm not saying that subtitles wouldn't have been nice, but I don't need to understand the spoken language to know when I'm in the presence of awesome.
Shiva Ka Insaaf (India, 1985)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Jackie Shroff invites audiences to reach out and stroke his mustache in India's first Hindi language 3D movie.
The Shuttered Room (England, 1967)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
The presence of both Oliver Reed and Gig Young, two of the acting world�s most
notorious alcoholics, in its cast makes me wonder if the true horror of
The Shuttered Room lies not in the film itself, but in the sloppy shenanigans that undoubtedly took place behind the scenes.
The Silent Star (East Germany/Poland, 1960)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Socialist astronauts save the world from warlike Venusians in this premier science fiction effort from East Germany's DEFA studio.
Slogan (France, 1969)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Slogan is a movie without which the French Pop power couple of Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin might never have existed. Given that, for me to evaluate it as a film using the conventional standards seems entirely beside the point.
Some Girls Do (England, 1969)
(Guest review at Jet Set Cinema)
British producer Betty E.
Box brings the venerable adventure hero Bulldog Drummond into the swinging 60s
by means of Dalia Lavi in the role of a stylishly under-dressed assassin, a
super speedboat that runs on infrasonic waves, and a small army of slutty robot
women.
The Sons of Great Bear (East Germany, 1966)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
The movie that kicked off a popular series of East German-made Westerns, commonly referred to as Indianerfilms. Yes, that's right. We've all heard of them except you.
Superargo vs. Diabolicus (Italy/Spain, 1966)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Superargo is the world's most sensitive wrestling superhero. In Superargo vs. Diabolicus, we thrill to him working out his issues while battling a megalomaniacal criminal mastermind... and crying. (Okay, not really.)
Tahalka (India, 1992)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Patriotic" Bollywood action movies are those in which you're likely to find
courageous young Indians with rocket launchers single handedly taking on the entire Pakistani military... or righteous everymen serving up payback to some
kind of fanciful super-villain who serves as a stand-in for every real and
perceived threat to the homeland. Tahalka is neither that specific, nor
that fanciful, but it sure is angry about something.
Temptress of a Thousand Faces (Hong Kong, 1968)
Deliriously entertaining proof that Hong Kong's Shaw Brothers Studio didn't sit out the whole "Let's take some drugs and make an outrageous psychedelic spy spoof" party that seemed to be going on in every country in the universe's film industry during the late sixties.
Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom (Japan, 1973)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Any similarity to High School Musical is purely coincidental.
They Call Her... Cleopatra Wong (Philippines, 1978)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
We both know that you're going to decide whether or not you'll watch this movie based entirely on this picture of Marrie Lee firing a shotgun while dressed in a nun's habit, so why I even bothered to review it is beyond me.
Three Golden Serpents (Italy/West Germany, 1969)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
The sad passing of actor Tony Kendall � aka Luciano Stella � inspired me to get back on board with the project of reviewing
the Kommissar X films for Teleport City, providing the thin rationale for finally watching this somewhat tawdry late entry in the series.
Times Square (United States, 1980)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Wow. Why did I review Times Square? Oh, I remember: It must be B-Masters Roundtable time again, this time with the theme being youth counterculture.
Tone (Thailand, 1970)
(Reviewed at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill!)
Tone is the Thai equivalent of a 1960s youth rebellion movie, which is to say that there's no youth rebellion in it at all.
Tony Falcon, Agent X-44: Sabotage (Philippines, 1978)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Who is Tony Falcon? A pro skateboarder? A lounge singer in Branson? A gay pornstar? Nope. He's the Philippines' answer to James Bond, and Sabotage is only one of his nearly twenty (!) films.
Toofan (India, 1989)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Bollywood superstar
Amitabh Bachchan and ramshackle low budget superhero spectacle are both subjects
that get a lot over at Teleport City, and when a film brings the two of
them together we're pretty much fated to cover it, no matter how underwhelming
that film may be. Fortunately the 1988 movie Toofan comes to us wrapped
in some particularly interesting context. It's mildly depressing context, mind
you, but interesting nonetheless.
Trip to Moon (India, 1967)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Bollywood puts a man on the Moon. (Or, excuse me, "Moon".) And who better for the job than Punjabi wrestling sensation turned movie star Dara Singh?
Underworld Beauty (Japan, 1958)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
With this noir gem, "Maverick Director" Seijun Suzuki proves that his films don't necessarily have to seem like you imagined them in a drugged stupor in order to be good.
The Web of Death (Hong Kong, 1976)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
More beautiful weirdness in the Martial World from Shaw Brothers wuxia master Chor Yuen.
When Women Lost Their Tails (Italy, 1972)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
With When Women Lost Their Tails, what we get is like the lyrics of a Gang of Four song acted out within the context of a slightly naughty fanfic version of The Flintstones.
Who Wants to Kill Jessie? (Czechoslavakia, 1966)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
So, honestly, who does want to kill Jessie? The answer, as local newscasters are so fond of saying, just might surprise you!
Wild Wild Planet (Italy, 1965)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
If you�ve ever encountered someone from my generation grumbling about
flying cars and nightclubs on the moon as if they were some kind of
denied birthright, it�s films like Wild Wild Planet that are largely to blame.
Wolf Devil Woman (Taiwan, 1981)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
Throughout Wolf Devil Woman, Cheung Ling does things that, in
most circumstances, would cause me to pity the poor, debased actor
doing them. That is, until I remember that Cheung Ling wrote, produced
and directed Wolf Devil Woman, and thus has no one but herself to blame.
Zombie Lake (France/Spain, 1981)
(Reviewed at Teleport City)
The most maligned film on the internet gains yet another detractor.
More reviews at diedangerdiediekill.blogspot.comMore
King Boxer's Chang-hwa Jeong direcs